Blue Fish: The War Beneath Read online

  I was back on my feet again, breathing heavily and realizing that the water level had risen enough to create a fatal situation. I was floating there, holding on to a ladder.

  Time passed by as I lay there motionless.

  I started to feel worried for Kamal and Taan Singh. Guilt washed over me because I found myself partly responsible for their deaths. The torch lights started to flicker, even those were apparently running out of their batteries.

  There was hardly any room for me to move. The silence was deafening. My breathing sounded like the universe’s most primal sound. It was an obscenely long day, I was feeling terribly exhausted and my body begged my mind for a nap. I realized that there is no point in trying to look for them again.

  I didn’t know when I fell asleep. I dropped the torch, which hit the lever causing it to move. As a result there was sudden drift in the water. I was struggling to hold in there, but unable to do so. I drifted into one of the torpedo tubes. I fit into it perfectly. I slipped through it and was flushed out of the tube. I was in the sea all by myself. I rose up, resembling a grain of sand in the infinite ocean.

  I remained calm, and felt at peace. I was hoping that the rescue team will pick me up and also that I would find Kamal and Taan Singh on the surface.

  I reached the surface finally, took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. It was a cloudy night. The clouds were rushing past. I couldn't see any stars or moon. The waves hit me and pushed me across in no particular direction; I was floating in the middle of the ocean all by myself. Raindrops fell on me. I opened my mouth to take in some water into my throat.

  I yelled out for help. Another wave crashed into me, and I was pulled into the water. I was struggling to stay afloat but I couldn't help myself. I was rapidly sinking into the water.

  I struggled and rose up; all of a sudden I hit a piece of metal. I opened my eyes. I was still in the first compartment. I had hit the ceiling of the compartment, and was badly hurt.

  I realized that it was a dream. I woke up, and screamed out for someone to hear me. I felt naked, and completely terrified. I felt as if my body was about to rot in the universe’s loneliest parts.

  Left without other options holding the torch, I dove in, and pushed myself towards the hatch; I opened it. I realized that the water had filled up this compartment too and there was no breathing space in the entire submarine. Everything was filled with water. It was like an overweight water balloon that’d sunk. However the weight comprised of dead bodies of Indian patriots. This realization almost made me wish I was gone too.

  I paused for a second, everything was calm. I looked up at the torches lying in the corner carried by Kamal and Taan Singh; I felt that something terrible had happened to them.

  Without wasting any time, I pushed myself towards the third compartment. This time I examined the damage caused to the control panel - the indicators were broken, and its pointers were positioned at extreme levels.

  As I went a bit ahead in the third compartment, I saw the corpses of Kamal and Taan Singh near the telephone. Disheartened, I turned my face away from them and reached the fourth compartment hatch. The hatch was closed; it was not opened by Kamal or Taan Singh. I was curious about what really happened to them.

  The hatch refused to open when I tried, me fitting through it being far from possible. I applied some force on it, and felt an obstruction. This was probably the cause of the deaths of Kamal and Taan Singh.

  I felt that I needed something to clear the obstacles from the rear of the hatch. I kept looking for something which could solve that purpose. While looking around, I bumped into the dead bodies which terrified me, and I crashed against the walls. The impact was so strong that it almost brought me onto my knees. I controlled myself holding the side handles, and made my way to the navigational room.

  There was this one last oxygen mask strangled in its wires. Its cylinder was completely rolled up by the cables. I fixed the mask on to my mouth, turned the knob on and began inhaling the life gas again. I felt like I was breathing after a long gap.

  After couple of seconds of heavy breathing, I shut the knob, and went straight to the periscope to see what exactly was outside the sunken submarine. I pulled the periscope out, positioned the lenses, and looked around only to see sand and rocks.

  I went back to the oxygen mask, turned on the knob and begun to breathe again. I looked up at a stick in the corner, picked it up and went straight towards the jammed hatch. With the help of the stick, I forced my hand through the little aperture and cleared the obstacles on the other side that stopped the hatch from opening fully. The hatch fully opened. I entered in, went to the emergency rack and pulled out one of the life suits. For a second I felt relieved, only to be haunted again by the task of escape.

  I went towards the radio operator room, checking the radio device. I knew that it would run only with a power supply, but still I pressed couple of buttons hoping that it would miraculously work. As I pressed the buttons, the water bubbles popped out, I could hear the tapping sounds. I pointed my torch towards the clock - the hands were stopped at 02:15.

  The temperature was at 60 Celsius. I continued to explore the compartment hoping to find some way out. I looked at the crack on the side of the radio room. I pointed the torch towards it and saw the light passing through the gap into the sea. I felt hopeful for the first time after many excruciating hours of hopelessness & lifelessness. I realized that the metal can be opened up widely by using a jack.

  My eyes full of hope, I felt victorious for a moment. But again, I felt disheartened remembering the officers died in this 'S21'.

  I scanned the entire fourth compartment for a jack and I could find one at the corner of the radio room. I picked the jack up, placed it in position, where one end was placed on the gap, and the other firmly gripped the flat surface. I grabbed the jack's handle and began rotating it. Gradually the length of the jack begun to increase, along with the size of the gap. My eyes were all swollen up; I wanted to close my eyes. But I was equally determined to be alive forever than to fall asleep for a while. That helped me to hold my breath and hang in there.

  As the length of the jack increased, it was becoming harder and harder for me to rotate the handle. I was forcibly applying pressure on the jack beyond its limit. Within couple of seconds, the jack could not withstand the applied pressure broke loose. As a result, I got hit by the jack in my face so badly that I almost collapsed. I held my face in excruciating agony. Unable to hold my breath any longer, I quickly went to the navigational room and began to take in oxygen from the mask. I was feeling angry at myself, and took it out on the walls, while inhaling lot of oxygen. It took me a few seconds to realize it; I controlled my anger and tried to relax myself.

  I went back to the jack. It was split into two parts; I lifted them up and tried to fix them to a single piece again. It was of no use and I had to let it go. I went towards the gap, kept the torch light down pointing it towards the gap. I felt that I could open it with full force. I put my back into it. I was trying to enlarge the hole - it was a 3 inch thick metal body that I was trying to bend. It was an impossible task, but I had to try. I positioned my right leg in the gap and kept pushing it outwards.

  All of a sudden, I felt like my right leg was not moving - no longer was I feeling any pressure acting on it. I tried to pull back myself but I was still fixed there, my body was not moving from that position. I looked up to find my leg stuck in the gap. I cried out with torturous pain. I pulled, twisted and struggled, my leg hurt but I needed to set it free.

  I was holding my breath for a long time, and losing my energy to fight. I floated there, imagining myself to be a corpse, without any movement. My right leg was the fulcrum that held me to life. Had it given up that time, I would have dead.

  Unable to hold my breath any longer, I gulped mouthful of water as bubbles popped out of my nose and mouth. I looked for anything that could be get me out of this fix. I tried to reach the broken jack but it was couple of inches away fro
m me. I felt I ended up couple of inches away from the finish line of my life for a moment.

  I looked up at the torch that illuminated me. The temperature gauge fell ridiculously fast from 60 to 40

  I felt a chill down my spine when I realized that this could be my last moments on earth. But soon, I realized that I had to fight back. I calmed my mind and immediately, I took out the footwear from my left leg and with the help of it, I dragged the broken jack towards me, I picked it up - inserted into the gap and I applied force on to it.

  I was trying to bend the metal by forcing in my entire body weight on to the jack. I was staring at the torch beam with tremendous pressure on my face. Then, I was pushed ahead as the jack widened the gap up, and let my leg loose.

  I SEE HER

  3rd December

  Quickly recuperating from the debacle of that ‘last second of my life’, I dived to the navigational room. Swimming desperately, like a junkie towards his last hit, I arrived at the oxygen cylinder - I picked up the mask and began heavy inhaling. I felt that the oxygen level in the cylinder was dying and if it died, it would have me dead. This was the only cylinder left, and I had to use it prudently. I took oxygen into my mouth - puffing my cheeks, circulated the oxygen in my mouth, I tried to consume it as less as I could.

  I leaned against the compartment side, closed my eyes and occasionally inhaled by turning the knob on and off. I was too exhausted to put in any effort to find my way out.

  Time passed by, quite a long time indeed. I realized that no rescue team would be coming my way and in a few minutes, the oxygen cylinder would fail me with its death So, I went up to Prathap's body in the second compartment and placed the letter back into his pocket.

  I was so desperately moving in from one compartment to another compartment that I finally gave up and decided to be in navigational room - relax till the oxygen in the cylinder is empty. I was welcoming my own death.

  As I was resting my back against the room’s wall and inhaling in oxygen from the cylinder, with the aid of a sharp broken piece I began to engrave my name on to the side of the compartment. Even though I was feeling tired, I continued letter by letter until the end.

  I was drifting towards unconsciousness. I forced my eyes to be open and kept waiting and waiting, hoping that something will come up. I kept gazing at the broken hatch of the third compartment hopefully.

  I was not let down; I was hit with strong rays of light. The lights were so strong that I had to frown my injured forehead so that my eyes will save themselves some warm darkness. As I looked up, the face I had been trying to recall all these years floated past. I knew that this was just my illusion, but I didn't want to let it go, I didn't want to close my eyes. After all it was a moment for which I kept dreaming on - to see her face.

  I raised myself, stretching my hand towards her - she was like a goddess standing in front of me - illuminated by a white light. As I tried to touch her, the moment my hand went near her, she disappeared into darkness. The water was rippling, because of my hand movements. My eyes were looking out into the dark. I blinked, hoping to see the magic to repeat itself she was no longer there.

  I immediately went towards the periscope and looked through it, hoping to see something out there. It was still the same old sand and dusty rocks.

  I turned around and surprisingly looked at a fish, blue in color, moving in the space within the compartment. Standing over there, I was simply amazed by its beauty, poise and freedom and so I kept staring at it in my bewilderment. Then it struck me that if a fish could swim in, there has to be an opening. The hunt had begun. I did not want this opportunity to go by. So, I picked up the flickering torchlight and kept pointing it towards the fish as it moved in the space. Without even blinking my eyes, I kept following its movements. As time passed by, the blue fish enters into the fourth compartment, it makes its way into the cabin and it disappears. I entered into the cabin, clearing all the debris over there and as I pointed my torchlight to the bottom, I found a hole that gets directly into the sea.

  I felt energetic, hope reborn within me. I immediately got hold of the life suit and quickly wore it. As I pulled the strings on it, the life suite inflated and it slammed me to the top of the compartment. I pulled myself inch by inch, dragging over the top towards the hole and rose just above it.

  Suddenly I remembered something; I had to go back towards the second compartment. Holding pipes and vaults, I dragged myself towards the second compartment; I picked up the letter from Prathap's pocket and turned back towards the hole.

  I pulled myself through the hole, with half of my body inside the compartment, and the other half dangling in the sea. I was stuck in the middle. Not giving up, just one stroke with my hands - pushing myself outwards, I set myself out of 'S21'.

  The inflated life suit drifted towards me towards sea’s surface. I felt emotionally low as I looked up at 'S21' fallen on the seabed between the hills.

  Within a couple of seconds I was on the surface. It was a bright night, with the moon and millions of stars illuminating me. I was drenched in a sea of mixed feelings while afloat in sea. I was suddenly hit by tidal waves.

  The heavy waves pushed me higher and higher. I tried to get stable but it was not under my control. I felt that there was no point in struggling against the tidal waves. So, I made up my mind to clear my mind, and began to enjoy the rise and fall of my body along with the waves.

  I smiled; no longer did I want to fight my destiny. Whatever was destined to happen would happen and that’s all I was thinking when I floating on the ocean’s waves.

  Time passed by; sun rose and it illuminated the entire sky. Waves were now calmer.

  I felt reborn, with the sun’s rays on me. I was hanging on there, breathing in greedily. The suit made me float on the water, and as I looked down, my legs were dangling in the emptiness of the water.

  As I looked above, the birds were flying over me. Turning my neck, I followed their path till they were out of my sight. This movement made me look at the boat that was very far away. I tried to shout, but my voice was hoarse. I tried to clear my throat - I coughed up couple of times. With one last try, I let go of everything in my throat at the highest volume.

  I looked up at the boat turning towards me. On realizing that finally I was getting some help, I felt emotional. I burst out crying and laughing uncontrollably.

  THE PROMISE

  3 days later

  I was in my official uniform standing in front of my superior officers at the Navy Head Quarters, inside the Admiral office.

  I was looking at the Admiral as he disconnected the phone call, with clear contempt all over his face.

  “None of the crew or officers are alive,” he said.

  I knew this. I did not mourn, because I had had enough of that while on board.

  Admiral, walking towards me said, “If we acknowledge your actions, then every individual from all areas of the defense will take it upon themselves to act upon their instincts, which will ruin the nation.”

  After a long silence, I calmly said, “One individual may die for an idea; but that idea will, after his death, incarnate itself in a thousand lives. That is how the wheel of evolution moves on and the ideas and dreams of one nation are bequeathed to the next.”

  “Be clear!”

  “Nothing, Sir. I just recalled something Commanding Officer Sharma had told us.”

  “Do you understand the gravity of the situation?”

  I looked at his eyes.

  “No Sir. But I know whatever has happened is preferable to what could have happened. They will think twice before daring to attack us again. Commanding Officer Sharma’s actions were justified, and the best way out.”

  “You cannot take your own decisions, and justify others deaths!”

  “There was no other option. We were under attack. We could’ve retreated, we could’ve hid. That would’ve been absolutely shameful, and we’d have to live with that for the rest of our lives. I guarantee that whoever
sacrificed their lives on board are proud of the operation. You should be proud too that we saved Vishakhapatnam port, and thousands of lives. Most importantly, we guarded our motherland.”

  “Arjun Rathode, you are temporarily off the service til-”

  “Sir, sorry to interrupt, I am prepared for any action to be taken on me. Today will be my last day as I officially withdraw my services from Indian Naval Service.”

  “Arjun, don't over react to this, it's just procedure.”

  “What we did might be against your orders, but with all due respect, we protected you, and the rest of the country.”

  There was no further discussion about it. The silence in the hall was haunting us. He looked at me; I felt that he wanted me to follow certain protocols.

  “Arjun, as you know 'Sea-Sight' was a secret operation. Revealing anything about it now will cause havoc with everyone.”

  “You have my word. I will not reveal anything about the operation, the battle or even my identity until my dying breath.”

  And I left.

  Standing on the beach, I knew that my promise to Prathap will have to be fulfilled only after my death. I had a letter intended for his family.

  40 years have passed, waiting for the letter to reach its intended.

  A post man carries the envelope, reaches the house where the letter was about to be dropped. He parks his vehicle in front of the gate with the name plate - 'Ashok Veer Prathap (Major); S/O: Late. Veer Prathap (Navy Chief Engineering Officer)'

  He walks in and drops the envelope into the letterbox.

  ‘THE INDIAN GOVERNMENT REPORTED THAT THE PAKISTANI SUBMARINE PNS GHAZI WAS DESTROYED BY INS RAJPUT AND AKSHAY ROYAL NAVAL SHIPS.’

  ‘THE PAKISTANI GOVERNMENT REPORTED THAT GHAZI WAS DESTROYED DUE TO THEIR OWN UNDERWATER MINES CAUSING INTERNAL BLAST.’